keeping my head held high

I am finally employed!!! After searching for a job the majority of my summer, I became frustrated when my plans didn’t go as I intended.  My internships didn’t work it and I kept sulking like a little child.  Little did I know, I just needed some patience.  In one of my earlier posts, I discussed how little patience I have in practically everything I do.  But this little experience over the course of my summer comes to prove, God has a sense of humor.  When I label myself as impatient, I’m not just saying it for the heck of it.  I’m that person who starts tapping her foot when I’ve been waiting in line for more than 30 seconds; or gripping the steering wheel while waiting for the traffic light to turn green.  I’ve been called out on it several times and I have always known that it is one of the qualities that needs the most improvement.

This entire summer, I think God has been making sure I work on that.  I won’t lie and say I’m the most patient person, but I have definitely improved.  At least, I want to think that.  Even though this summer hasn’t gone according to plan, I know that in the future, something bigger than what I could expect will blow my mind.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see 🙂

-B

fueling my dreams

I wish I could say my summer has gone exactly as planned, but it hasn’t.  I was hoping to have an internship where I could figure out what exactly I want to do.  Honestly, I feel like I’m riding on a teeter totter of my life.  One minute I’m on the side that knows exactly where I’m going to land in five years.  Then, I’m on the other side that is second-guessing my decision.  I guess my dilemma is figuring out what career will allow me to incorporate writing without becoming a hermit.  It’s frustrating when you think you had everything planned out and then all of a sudden, you’re faced with these decisions that will affect you for years to come.

I’ve always been the person that changed her mind every 2 years.  When I was younger, I wanted to be a doctor (what kid didn’t?) Then, I found out my distaste for math and science.  Next, I wanted to be a musician; until I started taking piano lessons and didn’t have the patience.  Before I knew it, I thought I had it! I would become a journalist.  But then, people started telling me how I’ll basically be a starving artist at first and the chances of succeeding in that industry are slim.  My problem is listening to what everyone wants, but not really listening to what I want.  In the middle of my frustration, I’ve come to learn that I what I need, is patience. When something doesn’t go as I intended, I have to stop moving onto the next project.

I’m hoping and praying that this year will be different.  Hopefully, I figure out what the heck I want to do and when that happens, I’ll stick with it. So far, my lack of an internship has allowed me to focus more on my writing.  If things keep going the way they are, I think some incredible things are in the making.  God definitely has a sense of humor because this summer has definitely been a test of my patience.  He hasn’t let me down yet, and I don’t anticipate that ever happening.

-B