i’m on a roll

For the past hour and a half, I have been writing and can’t seem to stop.  I’m working on a book and so it’s hard to write when the inspiration isn’t present.  But for some reason, I started typing and the ideas kept flowing.  It’s definitely a tedious process but I’m hoping that in the end, it will be worth the late nights and hard work.

Back to work I go!

-B

job hunting to the extreme

With all this job hunting I’ve been doing for the past few weeks, I just want to throw my hands up in the air and completely forget about it.  It’s frustrating, but then I have to kick myself and say, I CAN’T give up. I need to pay for my tuition this upcoming year because I can’t afford to take out another loan.  I would love it if college was free and that would lift the burden off of me and so many other college students in the same dilemma.

I went to a handful of places today to hand in and fill out job applications.  I can’t believe my fingers can still bend because after filling out all those job applications, I think I needed to go to the spa just for my hands.  So, praying that my hands still function tomorrow, I suppose I should give them a rest and resume my writing tomorrow.

Love you all and have a wonderful night!

-B

fueling my dreams

I wish I could say my summer has gone exactly as planned, but it hasn’t.  I was hoping to have an internship where I could figure out what exactly I want to do.  Honestly, I feel like I’m riding on a teeter totter of my life.  One minute I’m on the side that knows exactly where I’m going to land in five years.  Then, I’m on the other side that is second-guessing my decision.  I guess my dilemma is figuring out what career will allow me to incorporate writing without becoming a hermit.  It’s frustrating when you think you had everything planned out and then all of a sudden, you’re faced with these decisions that will affect you for years to come.

I’ve always been the person that changed her mind every 2 years.  When I was younger, I wanted to be a doctor (what kid didn’t?) Then, I found out my distaste for math and science.  Next, I wanted to be a musician; until I started taking piano lessons and didn’t have the patience.  Before I knew it, I thought I had it! I would become a journalist.  But then, people started telling me how I’ll basically be a starving artist at first and the chances of succeeding in that industry are slim.  My problem is listening to what everyone wants, but not really listening to what I want.  In the middle of my frustration, I’ve come to learn that I what I need, is patience. When something doesn’t go as I intended, I have to stop moving onto the next project.

I’m hoping and praying that this year will be different.  Hopefully, I figure out what the heck I want to do and when that happens, I’ll stick with it. So far, my lack of an internship has allowed me to focus more on my writing.  If things keep going the way they are, I think some incredible things are in the making.  God definitely has a sense of humor because this summer has definitely been a test of my patience.  He hasn’t let me down yet, and I don’t anticipate that ever happening.

-B

breath of life

I don’t know what ‘s up with this week, but I’ve consistently been hearing about the notion of “breathing life.” Last night, I was listening to a message on the internet from Pastor Tyson Coughlin in North Carolina.  He was discussing how we’ve become so engrossed in today’s materialistic culture that we aren’t paying attention to the message being said to us.  But one of the things that really took me by surprise was when he said, “the word breath means to give up what’s inside.”  And then he went further in depth with this when he related it to the creation of man.  He described how “God gave up what was inside of Him, and breathed it into us.” At first, the magnitude of this statement didn’t sink in.  Then, he reiterated it and that’s when it hit me.  Jesus gave up what was inside of Him in order to give us LIFE.   He sacrificed his breath so that we could  LIVE.  I don’t know if that hit you as hard as it did me, but I hope it makes you rethink how you’re using the life you’ve been given to share the love of Christ.  I know I haven’t been doing everything I could, so I’m just as guilty.

Another thing that had my mind going crazy was when I watched the music video for the song “Grace Amazing” by Jimmy Needham.  Each of his songs is beautifully written, but this one had the concept of breathing life.  One verse of the song says, “You breathe life into me.  Now I finally feel my dead heart beating.”  Basically, he’s saying that we aren’t alive until Christ breathes life into us.  We may think we’re living, but unless Christ lives in us, we’re just walking vessels.  Every vessel needs a captain to direct our lives and that captain is Jesus.  I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way but the truth shouldn’t be sugarcoated.  Knowing that He’s willing to give up something as precious as a breath so that someone as undeserving as me can be given life, is powerful within itself.

-B

it’s going to be big

One of my friends Ashlei, has created a program called The Ashlei Elise Project.  This project includes a blog and a live talk show that will be filmed on-campus and then posted on the blog.  She has put a tremendous amount of effort into making this entire idea a success and I am thrilled to be a part of its growth.

This week is the official kick-off and I am honored to have posted the first article.  You can view the article I wrote on American Idol, as well as other posts she has so eloquently written, on the blog site: http://ashleielise.wordpress.com/.

Please visit her site daily as we all hope and pray this project becomes something extraordinary. Everyone involved in its growth is working diligently to ensure that this project revolutionizes the way young adults portray the media and our influence in today’s society.

-B